Reaching Your Goals When Life Feels Hard
Life gets heavy at times. You may be dealing with a big change, old hurt, stress, or burnout. You may also be managing trauma, anxiety, chronic illness, or depression. You may feel pressure to keep going at work or at home, even when you feel drained. If this describes you, you are not alone.
It is hard to focus on goals when your mind and body feel worn down. You may feel slow, tired, or unfocused. You may shut down or slip into old habits. This is not a lack of effort. It is your body trying to keep you safe. When we are under stress, the brain shifts into survival mode. Planning and goal-setting become harder.
Why Goals Feel Out of Reach
Stress can:
Make it hard to focus.
Cause avoidance.
Lead to numbness or anger.
Make your goals feel far away or pointless.
Burnout can make even simple tasks feel huge. This is not laziness. Your energy is low because you are worn out.
Step One: Change How You See Progress
Start to look at progress in increments, not the end result. Check in with yourself. Think about what you can do today instead of everything you think you "should" be doing.
Break down your goal into two levels of action:
Gentle goals: what you can do on hard days.
Stretch goals: what you can do when you have more energy.
This strategy will help you stay constant without pushing yourself too hard.
Step Two: Notice When You Feel Burned Out
Check in with yourself regularly to see if you notice symptoms of burnout.
Burnout can look like:
Feeling tired.
Feeling cynical.
Feeling like nothing you do is good enough.
Pulling away from other people.
Increase in negative thinking
If you notice any of these symptoms, ask yourself:
Do I need rest, direction, or both?
What would help my body feel calmer today?
You may need a short break from your goals. Or reevaluate how much you can do at this moment in time. This is a good time to revisit step one- redefining how you see progress.
Step Three: Create a Safe Space Around Your Goals
A lot of us tie our self-worth to how much we get done. Is the house spotless? Did we exercise, drink all of our water, get enough sleep, spend quality time with family and friends, and excel at work? This creates a lot of pressure and shame when we do not meet these expectations. Your worth does not depend on your output. Here are a few ways to remind yourself that your worth does not depend on your productivity.
“My pace fits where I am right now.”
"I am doing enough today."
"I can take one step at a time.”
These thoughts will help support your nervous system and set you up for future success, not future burnout.
Step Four: Make Your Space Work for You
Your office or home can help you stay on track.
Place a gentle reminder note on your mirror if you want to practice kinder self-talk.
Put your yoga mat in a visible spot if you want to stretch more often.
Turn off distracting phone alerts to focus on work.
Try planning your time based on your energy. When your energy is low, do small tasks. When you have more energy, do harder tasks. This helps you move forward without forcing yourself into a strict plan.
Step Five: Stay Grounded
Burnout can sneak up on us. We are so busy with life, we don't notice the signs.
Ask yourself:
What do I feel in my body? Tend to what you are feeling. If you are feeling tense, take some deep breaths and stretch. Feeling hungry, grab a snack.
What am I feeling? Feeling anxious? Practice square breathing.
What matters to me today? Identify what goal or goals you would like to focus on for the day and a reason why.
"I want to feel stronger, so I am going to go to the gym."
“I want to save money for a vacation, so I am going to bring my lunch to work."
"I want time for myself to recharge, so I am going to go home and read a book."
When You Feel Like Giving Up
When we feel burnt out or need to pace ourselves in reaching our goals, we might begin to feel discouraged. It isn't happening fast enough. Remember, resting is part of progress. A goal worth achieving is one worth working towards, whether it be building your business day by day, increasing your fitness level, or building new friendships. Slow, steady steps move you forward. Rest is not giving up. It gives you the strength to continue.
Burnout Q&A with a Therapist
What if I feel no drive at all?
Allow yourself time to rest. Take care of your basic needs. Make sure you are getting enough sleep, food, and water, and that you are in an environment that supports you. Add small steps when you feel ready.
How do I find focus after a hard time?
When we are going through a difficult period in our lives, focus is not always easy. Break tasks into small steps and use short work blocks to rebuild focus. I suggest using a timer to keep the pressure off.
What about pausing my goals?
Pausing is always an option. There are some periods in our life when just getting from the beginning of the day to the end is all we have energy for, and that is ok. If you feel overwhelmed, a pause can help. Rest helps you restart with more clarity. If you notice this happening for an extended period, reach out for help and support.
How do I know if I am experiencing burnout?
If you cannot tell if you are experiencing burnout based on symptoms, ask yourself Do I care about this goal, but I cannot act? If the answer is yes, it is burnout. You are tired, not unwilling.
Remember, There is Always Help
If you feel stuck in burnout, you do not have to work through it by yourself. I work with clients to find stability and build habits that fit their real life, not a pressure-filled standard you can't keep.
Need help to deal with burnout?
If you want guidance, a safe place to talk, or a plan that feels doable, you can schedule a free consult with me online, by email, or by calling or texting.
We can look at what you need, what feels hard right now, and what small steps can help you feel more like yourself again.
You deserve care and support. When you are ready, you can reach out and begin.
Anne McGuire, LMHC, is a trauma-focused therapist specializing in EMDR and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). She supports adults who feel stuck, overwhelmed, or disconnected from themselves after trauma or major life transitions. Anne helps clients reconnect with their values, rebuild a sense of self, and move toward lives rooted in confidence, clarity, and authentic ease. She provides compassionate, trauma-informed therapy to residents throughout Massachusetts.
